Record Review: Jackie-O Motherfucker, Fig. 5 (2000)

“Analogue Skillet,” the first track, sounds like a recording of an electric toothbrush played over the dreary soundtrack to a no-budget Barbarella knockoff. The Portland drone duo offers forgettable collages drawing from sounds of wind chimes and rusty bedsprings. The closest they get to musicality is the endless repetition of a three-note loop (not a particularly interesting one at that) on one track, a sax rendition of “Amazing Grace” on another, and the atonal recitation of a faux Negro spiritual on “Go Down, Oh Hannah.” Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music was more unpleasant, but at least it was memorable. (1/5)

Record Review: Jack Costanzo, Latin Fever (1958)

The album cover shows a shirtless woman in leopard-print panties beating on a drum, head thrown back in ecstasy, mouth open in a primal growl. Put the needle to the groove and “Mr. Bongo” plays a relentless Latin rhythm accompanied by piano, bass, flute, and occasional Spanish shouts. It’s a fair example of the exotica genre, but all tracks sound alike. Fine background ambiance for a hipster retro cocktail party, perhaps, but I can’t imagine anyone listening to this record for its musical merits. Maybe the brunette on the sleeve isn’t roaring at all, but failing to stifle a yawn. (2/5)